


I'm Screwed

by PattRose



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Challenge: Sentinel Thursday, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-02-12
Updated: 2011-02-12
Packaged: 2017-10-15 14:49:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/161898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PattRose/pseuds/PattRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair wants a Valentine’s Day Love Letter from Jim.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Screwed

  
[   
](http://s71.photobucket.com/albums/i121/PattRose1/?action=view&current=screwed.jpg)   


I’m Screwed  
By Patt

 

I can’t believe I have to do this. I’m totally screwed. I was prepared to buy Blair, jewelry of his choice, candy or anything else he wanted for Valentines Day. And what does he choose? He wants a love letter. He doesn’t want anything else, just a letter written from me, from my heart.

It’s not like I don’t have a heart, I do. I just don’t know what to do with the feelings there. If he said he wanted me to fuck his brains out, I would be there in a flash. I love doing that. If he asked me to tell him ten times a day that I love him, I could do that too. I do anyway. So what is my problem then?

Man oh man, this is fucking hard. I have no idea where to start. I never wrote a letter to Carolyn in the entire time we were together. Why does Blair want one? Does he think I don’t love him? Surely he wouldn’t think that. I show him often enough exactly how I feel. Did I mention this is hard?

Okay, where should I start?

 _Dear Chief…_ No, you idiot, you don’t start a love letter out with his nickname. Okay, let’s see if I can start this again.

 _Dear Blair…_ I don’t like that either. It’s not like I’m going to say, dear Sandburg. What should I start with? For God’s sake, this is harder then even **I** thought.

How about…

 _Blair…_

Great start, Ellison. At this rate, you’ll finish by St. Patrick’s Day. Come on, think.

 _Blair,_

 _You wanted a love note from me, telling me how I felt about you._

This isn’t fucking working. Now if he had asked me to give him a note using the word fuck in every sentence, I could have done that easily. Why am I having such a hard time with this? Do I love him? Certainly, I do. Do I need him? That’s a given. Do I still want him? Oh yeah, I wish he was here right now. I’d show him how much I want him. So tell him this, you dickhead. Great, now I’m calling myself names.

Do you think I could get Connor to help me with this? She could be like my study buddy. Gosh, I’m so damn funny. She tells me what to tell him all the time. I should have been paying more attention when she told me those things. Shit…

Okay, I’m starting this and finishing this. No Ellison has ever failed anything, so I’m not going to fail this, damn it.

Wait a minute, I’m wrong, I did fail at something. I failed being married to Carolyn. I sucked as a husband. Now I’m sucking as a boyfriend. I sound like I’m 15. I think it would be easier to write an I’m sorry note to Carolyn then to write this love note to Blair.

 _Blair,_

 _Roses are red  
Violets are blue  
Sugar is sweet  
And so are you. _

_Love, Jim_

Oh yeah, this is so going to tell him how I feel. Start again, Ellison.

 _Blair,_

 _I love you in the morning  
And in the afternoon.  
I would love to be fucking you,  
Could we make it soon?_

 _Love, Jim_

Nope, that’s not going to cut it either. Maybe I could say I was cleaning my gun and accidently left a bullet in and shoot myself in the hand. Yeah, that would work. I’m sure he would believe that. Damn it, I know I can do this. I just have to try harder.

 _Blair,_

 _You’re like a vision  
Sometimes it’s like double vision.  
It’s good that I can see this well. _

_Love, Jim_

Why am I laughing? I’ve only got ten minutes before he get’s home. I have to do this. If other people do it, why can’t I?

 _Blair,_

 _Thank you for keeping me out of an insane asylum._

 _Love, Jim_

 _Blair,_

 _I love you more then you’ll ever know  
I wish I had the words to tell you  
You’re mine forever  
I’m yours too  
I love you  
I love you  
I love you_

 _Your man, Jim_

Shit, he’s coming up the stairs. I’m out of time. This last one is going to have to do. God, I hate this shit. Romance and I are not good friends. Let me sign the card quick like and put the poem in there. Well, at least I tried.

Blair comes walking in the door smiling. Oh shit, he bought me expensive chocolate. God, I love that. I’ll even share with him.

“Jim, did you write me a note?” he asks.

“Of course I did,” I tell him as I hand him the card. I’m wondering if he’s going to take back the chocolate.

I watch his face as he reads the card I chose and then he reads the love letter from me and smiles.

“I love it, Jim. Thank you,” Blair says beaming with happiness.

I say, “Chief, it’s not even any good.”

“It is to me. It’s perfect. I would have loved anything you wrote,” Blair says.

Somehow I doubt that, when I think of some of the first drafts. I almost laugh, but know that I would have to explain. I don’t want him to know how hard this was for me. Ever.

Looks like I’m still getting the chocolate.

The end

**Author's Note:**

> Title: I’m Screwed  
> Author: Patt  
> Warnings: Silliness, is that a warning? Bad language.  
> Notes: For Mab, who always finds time for all of us. I just want you to know how much you mean to me.  
> Summary: Blair wants a Valentine’s Day Love Letter from Jim.  
> Word Count: 952  
> Category: Slash  
> Challenge #373: Hard


End file.
